Love And Life Toolbox

With Happiness, It’s Not “One Size Fits All”

What makes you happy doesn’t necessarily do it for the next.  In fact, it’s a mistake to try to follow a set of cookie-cutter steps to attaining the happiness pot of gold (which is less static then fluid anyway).  According to Sonja Lyubomirsky, author of The How of Happiness, “…if there’s any ‘secret’ to becoming happier, the secret is in establishing which happiness strategies suit you best.”  But it also appears there is really no happiness without action.  And the strategies must be in line with your strengths and your lifestyle.  Also relevant is the source of your unhappiness in the first place in that it’s important to find a match between this – and the happiness-seeking activities of choice.

Consider the following research-backed “happiness activities” to from choose from: 

  • Expressing gratitude
  • Cultivating optimism
  • Avoid over-thinking and social comparison
  • Practicing acts of kindness
  • Nurturing relationships
  • Developing strategies for coping
  • Learning to forgive
  • Doing more activities that truly engage you
  • Savoring life’s joys
  • Committing to your goals.
  • Practicing religion and spirituality.
  • Taking care of your body.

Which would you engage in?  Which would you kind of enjoy but really feel pressured to do them?  Are there some that don’t resonate at all?  If you have chosen to create more happiness in your life, the good news is that you can pick and choose what fits for you personally.

“Happiness consists in activity.  It is a running stream, not a stagnant pool.” – John Mason Good

Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT

Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT

Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT is the creator of with emotional and relationship health articles, guides, courses and other tools for individuals and couples. She is a frequent consultant for the media having appeared in,, and others. Lisa has a private practice in Marin County, CA and offers Emotional Health and Relationship Consultations via email, phone or video conference.

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