Love And Life Toolbox

If I Was Your Therapist

If I was your therapist I’d want you to know…

You’re not broken…It’s your experiences that have led to faulty beliefs that might be telling you that.

I care about what happens to you…My work with you is not simply about a paycheck.  I am passionate about the work of therapy and its power to get people unstuck from the obstacles that block their emotional and/or relationship health.  Observing people make deep and lasting life change is rewarding and means something to me.

You can change…but it will take effort on your part.  You need to participate in this process with me.  I don’t have a magic wand under my chair (though that would be kind of nice).  Our time together weekly is a small fraction of your daily life which means you must experiment with making changes when you’re outside of the four walls of my office.  It might be scary but change only comes if you find your edge and move a little further past it.

Sometimes I have to hold back my emotions…when I hear of people’s painful experiences and traumas, especially those that resonate with some of my own wounds.  I might even feel like crying but I don’t because I know that this doesn’t serve you.  But I might show my hand a little in the form of teary eyes.

You are not alone…There are many others who suffer in similar ways as you do.  You might not realize this because people are experts at hiding their pain.  The neighbor or the parent at school who seems to have it “all together” may have their own issues they contend with behind closed doors.

Sometimes I worry about you outside of session…particularly if you struggling to make headway and your distress level is high.  My desire is that you thrive and find the happiness you seek.

Life can be wonderful…but if you have experienced a lions share of pain and negative experience you might not believe that.  With the baby steps of positive change there can be good things for you too.  You deserve to experience joy as much as anyone else.

My life is not perfect and I don’t always make the right choices…Many people carry assumptions that therapists must always get it right and have ideal lives because of what they know.  I’ve heard people pass judgment on therapists who have say…gotten a divorce.  Things happen.  We are human and have our own faults.  Though we may know a lot and have more tools than some, our own stuff can sometimes get in the way. Ideally, we are mindful enough to notice when mistakes are made and make a correction.

Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT

Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT

Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT is the creator of with emotional and relationship health articles, guides, courses and other tools for individuals and couples. She is a frequent consultant for the media having appeared in,, and others. Lisa has a private practice in Marin County, CA and offers Emotional Health and Relationship Consultations via email, phone or video conference.

Add comment