Love And Life Toolbox

The Biggest Myth of Therapy

If you’re considering seeing a therapist, it’s important to go in as educated as possible around what you can expect – and with some awareness of what therapy will NOT do for you.  As much as psychotherapy has moved into the realm of acceptance in our culture, there are still a lot of misconceptions about the process and what the therapist does – and particularly what their role is.

MYTH: The therapist will fix me.

It is totally understandable that you might assume you are going in to be fixed.  After all, you’re paying good money to someone who’s been trained in his/her field, right?  Alas, this is not the case.  If any therapist tells you they will “fix” you, immediately turn the other way and run like hell.  This is a common misconception so if you thought this was so – you’re not alone!

It’s understandable that you might desperately want to be “fixed” but what this line of thinking is missing is that you play the biggest role in your your change.

It is said that much of the change that occurs in the therapy room is a result of the relationship itself.  If there’s a safe environment for you to dig deep and make the shifts you’d like to – and you’re ready for change – change can be yours.  Though the therapist may gently guide the ship or suggest possible direction, it is the client who does the work of implementing lasting change in their daily lives – primarily outside of the therapy office.

So if you’re looking into seeing a therapist to help you sort something out, remember the buck stops with you.  A good therapist will help empower you to see your strengths and give you the tools to try something new.

Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT

Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT

Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT is the creator of with emotional and relationship health articles, guides, courses and other tools for individuals and couples. She is a frequent consultant for the media having appeared in,, and others. Lisa has a private practice in Marin County, CA and offers Emotional Health and Relationship Consultations via email, phone or video conference.

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