Shame, Fear and the Power of Truth

Motivational speaker, author, producer and talk show host, Kirsty Spraggon of reached out to me to share a video about her “deepest work around stigma, shame and secrets.”  Being passionate about these topics and a therapist with a focus on family of origin work to help people break free from the grip of these forces, glad I did.

I was deeply moved by her message about how shame had blocked her, created a sense of unworthiness and how her personal secret was “running the show” for much of her life.  It created a deep divide between her outward persona and authentic self.  She shared how the first step was to be honest about her fears and how they were driving her.

Trauma, depression, addiction, abuse, anxiety are just a few of the conditions notoriously steeped in stigma, shame and secrets.  Her journey towards confronting her own secret in an extremely public forum left me transfixed.  I was humbled by her bravery.

What would you do if you weren’t afraid?


“You need to become fear’s BFF.”

– Kirsty Spraggon

And because life has a way of reinforcing the lessons it really wants you to soak in, literally the day after the introduction to Kirsty’s journey, I came across Garrett Grab.  He also struggled with a secret for years.  He said his “pre-teens to young adulthood life didn’t make any sense,” and he also had a desire to break free from the grips of his story.

Take a minute to watch this as well.  Garret shares his story via index cards.

“Speaking about what happened gave me a 2nd chance and a life I was destined to live.”

– Garrett Grab

Don’t ever underestimate the power of shame.  But remember that shame loses it’s power when it’s illuminated.  Are there secrets in your life that have kept you from being your authentic self or block you from the peace and happiness you deserve?

Perhaps it’s time to break out.

If there are no trusted friends or family available to help you begin this journey, perhaps a therapist can.  Like Garrett states in his video, having support is a must.  Find someone to help you.

Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT

Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT

Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT is the creator of with emotional and relationship health articles, guides, courses and other tools for individuals and couples. She is a frequent consultant for the media having appeared in,, and others. Lisa has a private practice in Marin County, CA and offers Emotional Health and Relationship Consultations via email, phone or video conference.

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