Has Your Therapist Had Therapy?

Finding the right therapist is serious business.  Considering the financial, emotional and time investment, it’s in your best interest to do your due diligence when making such an important decision.  People have different priority lists including theoretical orientation, cost, location, education, gender, personality, style and more.  I’m quite sure most don’t consider the following:

Has  your therapist had their own therapy?

Some graduate schools require their students have a certain number of therapy hours as an individual therapy client – but many don’t. Do you want to work with someone who knows what it’s like to sit in the client’s seat? I did. And having done my own work before becoming a therapist, I can’t imagine doing this kind of profession without that experience. Perhaps this question isn’t the most comfortable but it’s important enough in the big picture to consider adding it to your list.

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Therapists are ethically (and legally in some cases) bound not to let our own “stuff” seep into the therapy room. And because we are all human and have vulnerabilities due to our own personal experiences, this can come up.  Therapists who are clear on their issues can then be mindful of them should they surface in the room – and keep them out of the therapeutic relationship.

Here are some signs that your therapist might be letting their emotional health or relationship baggage interfere in your sessions:

• Excessive emotion and sharing personal stories to an extent where it feels like your paid time is becoming about them.
• Crossing boundaries and engaging in a professionally inappropriate relationship. (intimate, friends, bartering, etc)
• Being critical, judgmental, angry – or otherwise emotionally triggered by you.

Therapists who have done their own therapy work will be better equipped to help you, have increased understanding of your experience and be able to monitor themselves if their “stuff” comes up in session with you. The appropriate way to manage this is to have the self awareness to observe their internal reactions and seek peer consultation for support. In some cases, referring you out would be the appropriate call to ensure they can remain as unbiased as possible.

In my therapy practice when contacted by potential clients, I have never been asked if I’ve done my own therapy.  I’m still hoping to and will be thrilled if it happens.