Lisa Brookes Kift, MFTIt’s no secret that anxiety or depression can be challenging for people. But what about the impact on the person’s relationship? I’ve seen a number of people in my couples counseling practice where depression or anxiety is not only is impacting the one person but the relationship itself. How can it not when you consider how mood not only impacts an individual but others around them. Happiness tends to reflect as calm, peaceful and a joy to walking through life. Sadness or excessive worry can lead to a “glass half full” and gloomy outlook. In order for the health of the couples, each needs to address any additional emotional health factors.
Depression or anxiety often aren’t the presenting issues when a couple comes for counseling. Actually, they can be quite secondary to the primary goals such as improved communication, working through resentment, infidelity, family crisis and the like. But if it starts to become evident that one partners in the dynamic are depressed or anxious. It needs to be addressed because of the potential for underlying unhealthy core belief systems at play that might impact the relationship; like feeling unlovable or poor self esteem.
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The best case scenario is both partners acknowledging the depression or anxiety exists, impacts them and there is willingness to look at solutions. I will usually refer out to individual therapy so that the partner can be working on themselves – while we work on the dynamic in their relationship. Often times, family of origin work to uncover issues that might have been under wraps can be quite helpful.
