Lisa Brookes Kift, MFTWhat is “emotional health?” Though the definition may be partially subjective, I think a good one begins with an over-all sense of psychological well being. I have found it also to be an interplay between a sense of self and important relationships. But it goes further than this as there are to be considered when contemplating the question, “Am I emotionally healthy?”
If you’re unsure of the answer to this question, a great place to start is by asking yourself the following question:
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“Am I happy?”
If the answer is “no” then you might benefit from further exploring some of the common attributes of emotional health to see the areas to work on. Let’s examine some of them.
Your Relationship to Self
- Self-esteem: How do you view yourself? Do you have a sense of your worth?
- Authenticity: Are you honest about your feelings or do you minimize them?
- Managing Emotions: Do you allow distressing feelings to overtake you? Do you beat yourself up?
- Life Purpose: Do you feel satisfied with the way your career, role and goals? Does it have meaning for you? What are your passions?
- Physical Health: Do you take care of your body with good nutrition, exercise and rest?
Your Relationship to Others
- View of others/the world: Do you generally believe people can be trusted? That the world is a safe place?
- Intimate partnerships: Have you had loving, healthy relationships? A pattern of relationship instability? Do you believe you deserve to receive love or struggle with feeling unlovable?
- Family/Friends: Are you free to give and receive love to your family and friends? Are there obstacles blocking these connections including a need for more healthy boundaries?
- Managing Emotions: Do your feelings drive you to behave in hurtful ways to others? Are you impulsive rather than generally emotionally regulated?
- Life Balance: Do your scales tip over so far onto one side or the other that there are consequences for your relationships – or for yourself?
- Spirituality: Do you feel connected to something greater than you?
The most important take home message is that most people have the ability to attain emotional health. The degree of work required will vary from person to person and self-awareness is a key aspect. Many report authenticity is an indicator you are there, the alignment between your inner world, thoughts and feelings with the outer world. You feel good about who you are and it’s safe to “be.”
