Love And Life Toolbox

5 Ways to Bump up the Romance without Breaking Your Wallet

Rachel Moheban-Wachtel, LCSW encourages couples to shift their romance focus from special occasions to a daily mindset.  She offers some affordable and meaningful ways to show each other love.

No matter how long you’ve been in a relationship, whether it’s three weeks or 20 years, if there’s one thing that just about everyone wants plenty of (and all healthy relationships need), it’s romance. The thing is, when it comes to incorporating romance into our daily dynamic, sometimes due to our budgets, time-constraints or other responsibilities, we can feel like our options are limited. So unfortunately, we’ll wait until big occasions like birthdays or anniversaries before investing in this kind of way.

Here’s the thing, though.

When we fail to look for opportunities to show our significant other how important they are to us, it can make them feel like they are being taken for granted. And if that goes on for too long, it can lead to a breakdown in communication, which can ultimately lead to the ending of your relationship. So, if you’re looking for some relationship advice on how to be more romantic, daily, I’ve enclosed five wonderful ways that can work no matter what below:

Listen. Not too long ago, I watched a video of a young man named Ryan who proposed to and married his wife Amanda in one day. What made it extraordinary is that he was able to surprise her with both because he overheard her talking to one of her friends about a dream wedding that she put up on Pinterest. The moral to the story here is not that you should be expected to do the same thing that Ryan did but that you should care enough about what your partner needs to really tune in to them and listen (or eavesdrop when it applies).

Pay attention to the “little things”. A woman once told me that while she was in college, her boyfriend sent her a stuffed animal. That’s not uncommon but what made it special was that she had a cat at home named Simba and he bought her a “play Simba” from the Lion King commercial. He didn’t just get her a gift but played close attention to the details of her life. When you’re striving to be romantic, it’s the little things that you will cater to.

Be spontaneous. Taking your partner to dinner on their birthday is appreciated but not really something that can be filed as “unexpected”. However, picking up your partner from work during their lunchtime to have a picnic in the park registers differently. Honestly, it’s probably a lot cheaper to go the picnic route but when it comes to making them feel loved and cherished, it’s a smart investment that offers big returns because when you’re spontaneous, it shows that you’re thinking about ways to express your feelings for them, even when it’s not a “special occasion”.

Write a note. Many years ago, before there were computers or even phones, couples had to rely on writing letters as a form of communication. Now, we are able to read some of those correspondences in books or see excerpts in films because of the level of romance that was in them. Writing a love letter and putting it under your partner’s pillow or placing it inside of their briefcase is a classic and surefire way to be romantic. No matter how often it’s done.

Take a walk down memory’s lane. Here’s another bit of relationship advice, especially for the men. If you want to show someone you care about that they mean the world to you, out of the blue, rent the movie you watched on your first date or have some flowers delivered to them that are just like the ones you gave when you proposed. As a wise man once said, one way to know where you’re going is to remember where you came from. A walk down memory lane is always a very romantic thing to do.

As you can see, romance is not so much about extravagance as it is about really focusing on the love that you share with someone and finding ways to celebrate it. If you make this your daily goal, you will be able to live a life of romance. Always.

Rachel Moheban-Wachtel, LCSW

Rachel Moheban-Wachtel, LCSW

Rachel Moheban-Wachtel, LCSW currently has a private practice in New York City and specializes in singles and couples therapy, and is the creator of the Ultimate Relationship Resolution Program an audio program for couples that includes relationship advice and techniques to make fast and immediate changes in relationships. She also provides Breakthrough 1-on-1 Sessions for singles.

Add comment