11 Secrets of Happy Couples

What makes a happy couple?  You probably know a few of them.  They may be friends of yours or a couple you’re aquainted with – and they always seem to be happy.  What’s their secret?  How do they do it?

Relationship research has demonstrated that indeed, there are qualities that happy couples tend to share.  Christine Carter, PhD, sociologist and happiness expert, offers “practical prescriptions” for couples seeking happiness together.  This is great news for couples committed to improving their relationship. Yes, it may take a little effort to change the dynamics between you and your partner but with with good intentions and focus, you can do it. Because human beings are born wired to connect, emotional safety and secure intimate relationships are one of the most rewarding experiences we can have.

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Let’s look at some of the secrets of happy couples below.  Consider each as it applies to your relationship and commit to trying to incorporate some of them.

11 secrets of happy couples:

1. Their relationship is full of positive, pro-social emotions such as gratitude and appreciation. (Emotional intelligence.)
2. They recognize and respond to each other’s bids for attention. (Emotional availability.)
3. They prioritize intimacy and sex.
4. They are good at using humor to de-escalate conflict.
5. They show interest in each other’s worlds by asking questions.
6. They support each other’s growth and learning of new things.
7. They see conflicts as joint problems to be solved. (Healthy communication.)
8. They accept influence from each other.
9. They can both calm themselves effectively during conflict. (Emotional regulation.)
10. They put their individual happiness first, knowing that the happier they are the more they can offer each other and the relationship.
11. They are connected to other happy people as emotions are contagious and happiness is best predicted by social ties.

Relationships nurturing and attention to thrive. And if you have children, it’s so important for them to see their parents content and at peace with each other. Putting some energy into improving your relationship is an investment worth making. Sometimes it’s more complicated than it might appear, especially if there are family of origin issues that have not been worked through. Blind spots can be obstacles in how we relate to each other. Do the work.