LoveAndLifeToolBox

Be Humble. Don’t Despair.

These are unprecedented times and we as a nation are being pulled tightly.  Tensions have been exceedingly high as we waited for election results and it continues since the election was called.  For months I’ve witnessed and engaged in difficult conversations fueled by primal feelings on both sides.  Anger, rage, fear, passion and righteousness have saturated communities across the country.

Let’s all remember we are humans having a wide range of emotional responses and it will all of us, no matter what side, to stay grounded and mindful that people are either ecstatic or deeply disappointed right now.

We are all human and need to allow adequate space for feelings to be processed before reacting in ways that might be more damaging   As much anger that has been whipped up, my hope is that we can all pause, reflect and be compassionate for the overall human experience in this country.

Healing relationships and healing this country hold some similarities; acknowledging pain, avoiding inflaming bad feelings with gloating and self-soothing feelings of hopelessness and despair will all be part of a process to give us a fighting chance for the nation to repair itself.  If we don’t take a healing approach, we are at risk for a continued slide into more darkness.

I hope we can stop the hemorrhaging and look towards seeing our country as a whole rather than two sharply divided parts.  We are all responsible for this and there are ways you can participate.

-> If you are pleased with the election outcome, celebrate with others who are pleased.  Do not throw salt in wounds of those who are upset.  Be humble.  

-> If you are unhappy, seek support from others who feel this way and don’t let yourself spiral.  This is a moment in time in a much larger life.  Don’t despair. 

The reality is that the division has been so extreme that each side sees the other side’s beliefs as an existential threat which is very hard to resolve.  Now that Biden has been projected the winner, there are many who feel fearful and angry of what’s to come.  As much as the intense emotion of these days might lure you to behave in unkind or unproductive ways, for the sake of the emotional and psychological health of our country, do your part by rejecting this urge.  We are all now responsible for the healing that needs to occur for a very important relationship to all of us; the one with our country.

Be humble.  Don’t despair.

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Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT

Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT

Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT is the creator of LoveAndLifeToolbox.com with emotional and relationship health articles, guides, courses and other tools for individuals and couples. She is a frequent consultant for the media having appeared in CNN.com, HuffingtonPost.com, MensHealth.com and others. Lisa has a private practice in Marin County, CA and offers Emotional Health and Relationship Consultations via email, phone or video conference.