Does Your Relationship Have a Strong Negativity Bias?

A common thread in my couples therapy practice with those who struggle to make change is a strong negativity bias.  The needle on the “Geiger counter” of their relationship is bouncing up and down in the red.  In the worst… Read more »

Wired to Connect: Why We Can’t Live Without Love and Belonging

Linda Graham MFT looks at recent research in social neuroscience from the new book, Social:  Why Our Brains Are Wired to Connect.  Not being connected socially is literally bad for your health. The need to connect goes back to being… Read more »

The Neuroscience of Negotiating Positive Change in Your Relationships

Linda Graham, MFT looks at how to make relationship changes by more clearly seeing your role in the dynamic and better able to tolerate what you see.  She lights a path towards the goal of relational intelligence while rewiring your… Read more »

Rewire Your Sense of Hurt or Shame in Painful Relationship Interactions

Linda Graham, MFT offers this powerful tool to help get through and actually rewire challenging relational experiences resulting in emotional pain. There’s a teaching story in the Buddhist tradition that can guide us in repairing and rewiring any troubling experiences… Read more »

Boundaries and Limit Setting in Relationships

Linda Graham, MFT looks at the “how” and neuroscience of boundary setting in relationships.  Developmental psychologists have found that the human brain is capable of distinguishing between self and others by six months of age.  The capacity of theory of… Read more »

Do You Believe in Love? Trust Love.

Rick Hanson, PhD looks at the importance of being open to love, which is as natural as breathing and is woven into our DNA. Take a breath right now, and notice how abundant the air is, full of life-giving oxygen… Read more »

Relationship Problems? Try Dwelling on the Positive

Do you and your partner ever dwell on the positive in your relationship?  Maybe you should. It’s really easy to dwell on the negative in our personal lives and relationships.  The brain is wired to have a negativity bias.  In other… Read more »

Mindfulness and Keeping it Real in Relationships

There’s a myth that won’t seem to die in popular understanding of anger. Back in the 1960’s, psychology (doing the best it could as a very young science) put forth the notion that “venting” your anger, letting it all hang… Read more »

How to Give your Brain a Fighting Chance in an Argument

From your nervous system’s point of view, there are a fairly limited number of ways to respond to an argument.  You can find yourself in one of the knee-jerk reactions such as fight, flight, or freeze. You can roar and… Read more »

Release the Flow of Oxytocin for Emotional and Relationship Health

Pssst…have you heard of oxytocin?  If you’re committed to improving your emotional and relationship health, it’s something you might want to learn a bit more about.  In the article, Love Potion #1?: Human Hormone Increases Positive Communication Between Couples (, the question… Read more »