Love And Life Toolbox
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25 Steps to a Securely Attached, Amazing Relationship

Relationships are important to all of us.  Humans thrive on relationships.  Intimate partnerships are even more25 Steps to a Securely Attached, Amazing Relationship important because they are considered adult attachment relationships, where there’s a similar need for safety, security and connection, as there was when you were very young and relied on your parents / primary caregivers.

There are things you and your partner can both do to improve the quality of your relationship.

Here are 25 steps to a securely attached and amazing relationship:

  1. Communicate openly
  2. Listen
  3. Validate
  4. Empathize
  5. Respect
  6. Trust
  7. Give affection
  8. Prioritize each other
  9. Check in with each other
  10. Nurture yourself individually – as well as the relationship
  11. Identify / work on family of origin patterns or wounds impacting the relationship
  12. Take an interest in what interests the other
  13. Date nights
  14. Playfulness
  15. Work through resentment
  16. Learn healthy conflict resolution skills
  17. Friendship
  18. Sexual intimacy
  19. Reliability
  20. Honesty
  21. Loyalty
  22. Mutual support of each other’s dreams
  23. Forgiveness
  24. Kindness
  25. Love


Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT

Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT

Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT is the creator of with emotional and relationship health articles, guides, courses and other tools for individuals and couples. She is a frequent consultant for the media having appeared in,, and others. Lisa has a private practice in Marin County, CA and offers Emotional Health and Relationship Consultations via email, phone or video conference.

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