How to Repair a Relationship Rupture

Linda Graham, MFT looks at how to repair relationship ruptures and the neuroscience around it.   Researchers have discovered that even in “good enough” close relationships, we spend about one-third of the time in actual relating (attuned connection), about one-third… Read more »

Warning Signs Your Relationship is in Trouble

It’s not like the movies. Relationships don’t usually break up during a big dramatic scene; they are distressed little by little over time until both partners feel a complete disconnection.  As a counselor, I meet couples when their relationship has… Read more »

The Problem with Holding Onto Hurt Feelings in Your Relationship

An ideal relationship is one where there are two lines of open communication, where both feel safe to “be” and there are no “monsters” lurking under the radar.  One type of relationship monster is one that is born out of… Read more »

Marriage: Decrease Your Arguments at the Source

Why do couples argue?  Sure, there are the issues about money, sex, parenting and other commonly discussed topics.  It’s not about stopping arguments as research has actually shown that couples who argue effectively are in better shape than those who… Read more »

Make a Mistake in Your Relationship? Follow These Two Steps

We would not be human if we didn’t make mistakes.  In a relationship, when two people are navigating the complexities of each others feelings (as well as their own), mistakes are inevitable.  How many times in life, at work, with… Read more »

Happy Marriage? Get Back to the Basics

Happy marriages require some amount of effort to stay that way.  Those who believe their relationship can sustain the dizzying highs of their honeymoon phase early tend to be disappointed when life gets in the way.  We are born wired… Read more »

How to Repair Your Marriage

You are not alone if you feel disconnected from your spouse.  You are also not alone if your marriage is “OK” but there’s a bit of a gap that has the potential to grow if unattended.  Marriages require work to keep… Read more »

14 Ways to Make Repair Attempts in Your Relationship

Couples argue.  This is a reality.  Some escalate to damaging levels of conflict while others manage to keep it manageable, where no harm is ultimately done.  What’s the difference between these couples?  John Gottman, PhD, refers to successful repair attempts as the “happy couple’s secret… Read more »

And Baby Makes…a Disconnected Relationship?

Everyone knows that as wonderful as having children is – it changes everything.  In particular, the marriage or relationship from which the kids are born can take a significant hit.  According to a study by the University of Denver, a whopping 90% of parents report… Read more »

How to Spruce up Your Marriage

Sometimes, partners stay intertwined together and don’t experience difficult “growing pains.”  Sometimes couples struggle with the ebb and flow of their marriages. The classic line, “He’s changed…” may be an accurate statement.  But I would bet that “She’s changed…” and… Read more »