Does Your Relationship Have a Strong Negativity Bias?

A common thread in my couples therapy practice with those who struggle to make change is a strong negativity bias.  The needle on the “Geiger counter” of their relationship is bouncing up and down in the red.  In the worst… Read more »

5 Soothing Tips for Making Up after Conflict

Not many people actually enjoy conflict. Whether it’s a fight with a friend, a rift with a co-worker, or a blowout with your significant other, conflict hurts. But the alternative is lingering grudges, endless speculation, suffering, and sometimes divorce. Conflicts… Read more »

5 Steps to Create Positive Change in Your Relationship

You love your partner.  And sometimes you make mistakes that hurt your partner.  Some of those mistakes might be from patterns similar to what was modeled to you in your family of origin and the mistakes are inadvertent.  Or sometimes you are simply… Read more »

The Under the Radar Relationship Killer

Researchers are doing a great job raising awareness about harmful things couples say and do in a relationship. For example, we now know from the work of Dr. John Gottman that there are four communication patterns which predict whether a… Read more »

Got Resentment in Your Relationship? Learn to Let it Go

Claire Hatch, LCSW looks at resentment in relationships and ways to begin the process of sweeping it away by seeing interactions with your partner differently. “He thinks I’m stupid and he has to school me!” Lena said. “Sometimes I just have… Read more »

10 Characteristics of Successful Relationships

People seeking couples counseling seek change to a relationship dynamic that isn’t working in some way.   The problems can include poor communication, lack of emotional safety, resentment, trust violations and many other issues.  It might even be that the… Read more »

Give Your Marriage the Gift of Reconnection Over the Holidays

Happy Holidays from LoveAndLifeToolbox.com!  It’s no secret that a happy marriage or long term relationship can be the cornerstone of your life, the foundation in which you build a family, aspire to your goals and dreams and have a port… Read more »

Deconstructing Bickering in Relationships

Richard Nicastro, PhD examines why couples fight and proposes that bickering isn’t always the way it seems.  Might bickering in relationships sometimes be…fun? “You missed the exit.” “Did not.” “Did too.” “Do you want to drive?” “That’s not fair. You know… Read more »

The Emotional Disconnection of Not Allowing Your Partner In

Richard Nicastro, PhD offers his wisdom around why people often don’t invite help from their partners and how this communication breakdown can lead to misunderstandings in relationships.  He challenges you to consider if you block your partner and what ways you… Read more »

Intimate Relationships Require More Than Good Communication

Richard Nicastro, PhD deconstructs communication in intimate relationships and the impact of relationship lethargy.  Couples can get into bad habits around the kinds of questions asked and other blocks to truly engaging your partner. Questions are a powerful communication tools we… Read more »